Lost For Words
by Dark-Dreams-69
Summary: Kagura's thoughts as she scrambles to say something to Tohru after a surprising occurance. (Yuri)


Yes, a Tohru/Kagura fic, part of my challenge from a friend (write a fanfic for each and every possible pairing in Fruits Basket,) but also something I've wanted to do for a while. No one writes Yuri very much, (**Bighearted Fan** guys, about the only fic I've seen like it, and a wonderful one at that,) but anyway, I hope everyone enjoys...I had fun writing it, even if it is kind of short, (Come on, how long could I possably have made it without running out of things to say?) Usual humourous disclaimers apply.

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What does it feel like to be kissed, by Tohru Honda?

Let me tell you, because it just happened to me, not two seconds ago.

It feels sweet, and pretty, but most of all right. And it tastes like strawberry, the flavour of lip-gloss she's wearing. To be kissed by Tohru is a safe haven in its own right. Her lips are soft and feel like silk against my own. And her arms go around my waist, but I do not transform.

Kissing Tohru is like kissing a sweet smelling rose petal. It's better then singing in the rain, better then eating chocolate ice cream, and definitely better then kissing any guy.

It's weird. To think that I would be kissed by a girl, and not mind it. I didn't kiss her, but rather it was the other way around. I always imagined my first kiss to be with Kyo, and it would have been passionate and he would be pressing me against a wall in a very manly way. But this kiss is different. It's not passionate more then it is loving, and she's not pressing me up against a wall, she's hugging me gently while we stand in the middle of our school's deserted halls.

What should I do? I've never been kissed before, not more then a peck on the cheek from relatives. I don't know how I should react, what I should be doing. Am I messing this all up? Should I keep my eyes open or closed? They're closed right now. But if I peek out from under my lashes, I see that Tohru's eyes are closed. I should probably do the same.

I feel awkward and my arm is twisted slightly. It hurts. I always thought that it would be romantic, that I would melt into the strong arms of a man and it wouldn't be uncomfortable in the least.

I think I'll just stop thinking. My instincts seem to be doing a better job at this then me anyways.

I can't breathe. I pull away and she does the same, and we just stare at each other. I can't speak. I'm tongue-tied. What do you say to a girl who just kissed you out of nowhere?

"Kagura?" She asks cautiously. She looks like she's ready to cry...was I really that bad of a kisser?

How am I supposed to talk after that? When all I really want to do is sit down on the floor to think. Does this mean that she likes me? And do I...do I like her then?

Whenever I had dreams about her, I always reassured myself that it was normal to be dreaming things in reverse. But was I really just dreaming the opposite of what I felt? I don't know. I don't know what to say to her. I don't know if I should tell her that I like her too, if I should ask her what she's doing, if I should pretend like nothing just happened...

She's looking even more upset now. I think she's waiting for me to say something. Oh how I wish I could...I can't though. I'm sure I'll mess up and the wrong thing will come out. So I can only stare at her in amazement, blinking stupidly. I believe I have turned pink a while ago and have been steadily getting redder and redder.

I open my mouth to speak words, but all that comes out is, "Uh..."

See. Completely stupid thing to say.

Her sweet eyes cloud over with thought and her brow furrows with worry. I wince, because I know I'm the cause of it. She's wearing a cute summer dress...it's pink, with white petals that look like they're floating down.

Come to think of it, why did I come here when I didn't have to? I knew Tohru was here to decorate the school's gym for Valentines Day, and somehow I'd convinced myself that she would like some company.

Whatever had happened to my feelings for Kyo? No matter how hard I search for them inside of me, I can't find them anymore. But I don't feel empty, like I always thought I would if I had let go. I feel much better. Tohru has made me feel better.

So does this mean I should ask her out? There's only one huge problem...what would everyone think of us? I mean, we're two girls. The entire school would eat us alive; we'd be the source of all gossip...I don't want to have to put Tohru through all of that...I don't want to go through that.

It's my decision. It's in my hands, and I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I've never liked a girl before. Never, ever. I try?

"I understand Kagura, I'm so sorry for thinking that..." Tohru trails off and I look up sharply at her. She thinks that I don't like her?

"I mean, of course you like Kyo, and you two make such a lovely couple, I'm sure he cares for you and he'll come around and then maybe I'll bake you two some cookies, since you were so sweet and made some for me today, and you two will probably get married, and then of course I'll be there for the wedding, but I'm sorry if I'm thinking to far ahead for you or if I'm—"

"Tohru!" Time for me to interrupt. She can get so flustered sometimes, and then she just talks and talks...it's cute. She's staring at me now, waiting. "I-I don't like Kyo anymore. I like someone else..."

Her face drops and she looks like she'll really burst into tears now...oops, maybe I should be a bit more specific.

"Tohru...I like _you_."

Aha, the magic words. She looks up at me in disbelief, her eyes widen, and her frown turns upside down!

"Heehee.." Did I just giggle...yes, I did. See, every time I open my mouth!

But she's giggling now too, and I can't stop myself from laughing along with her. I'm pretty sure that we look ridiculous, standing in the middle of a hall, two girls, giggling for no reason and not stopping. Okay, maybe not so ridiculous. But I feel silly.

Our laughter dies down, and we're left standing there in silence again, only the occasional snicker or giggle breaking our stillness.

"What are you thinking, Kagura?" She asks, stepping closer to me, and I have to laugh, because if only she knew what I've been thinking...

"Lots of things. Too many things," I say. She smiles and leans against me, her forehead on mine.

"Are you worried," she asks. How does she know everything I'm thinking? Or maybe she is a little bit too.

"A little. I don't want anyone to talk about us." I know they will. It's not fair. We can't be happy because of other people's prejudices.

"I'm willing to take it if you are," she says bravely. But that's just how she is. In her own special way, she's very brave. She puts up with the Sohma curse, she accepts us all for who we are, and she stands up to Akito with kindness and gentle words.

"Lets...lets try, Tohru. I'll try my best if you do."

She nods and smiles, and I kiss her again. And this time, I don't care about whether or not I'm doing it right. All I know is that it feels right to me.

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Owari

I feel awful guys, Kagura seems so OOC to me...maybe I'll either write a sequel or a different fic and try to make it better...but as usual I'd love to hear your guys opinions on this!

...review...I'll be your friend if you do! Look, the button's right there... ::points::


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